How To Make New Friends and Start Over Again

It's tough actually and it is in fact, tiring when making new friends, at times. Especially in a new city. This is because everyone is from different part of the world, everyone has different expectation, different preference and some just don't make the effort.

So, how to make the new friends?


1. Always have a smile on your face and be friendly.


2. See anyone you think you might be able and want to talk to, and introduce yourself. Don't wait to see if the person is going make the first move, because it usually don't happened.


3. Speak with confidence. Being outgoing too, will score you a few points. But also respect the space of others.


4. When meet someone new, ask questions, and listen to the answers. And, usually the conversation would just carry on from there.


5. Always watch for body language or the verbal clues that someone might not interested in having a conversation with you. So, move away in a casual manners if you see the negative clues. And, start again.


6. And, lastly.... Don't try to hard. Just be yourself.


---------

As for me, it had really been a journey. A whole new journey. I think so far, I haven't had much problem making friends. That is usually the easy part for me.

But, finding someone that "Click" - that's the toughest part.

Sigh!!

At times, I feel like " What's the point!". It hard to find someone with the same like/dislike/preferences or of the same interest. Or at least, having a good conversation with. Probably, it's just me...I don't know.... at times, I just want to be alone..... Hmmmmm!

"If a man does not make new acquaintance as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, Sir, should keep his friendship in constant repair."
- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) British lexiographer.

International Mentor Programme, Dunedin

The intention of the programme was good. But, I don't think it's actually working. Well, the thing is, I did ask around a few people, and surprisingly, quite a few of them said they just never got any email nor message from their mentor.

Hmmmmm? I wonder what happened? If one fella, probably, got the email wrongly but, a few?? Hmmmm.......

But, I did get my mentor's email. Went out for lunch. And, that's it. No more news..LOL...I did emailed her but, no reply. Nevermind...guess she is busy.
.

.

.

.

.

And, then, the first gathering.........

Well...I just got one word to say................ BORING!!!!!!!!!!!

And, no idea why aren't the mentors there to greet all the new international students? --

Self-Thought: [ Aren't that part of the duty of the programme? You sign up and you are committed to it. Don't think you join just because you want it to look real nice on your CV, rite? ]

-- and make everyone feels comfortable....I mean really EVERYONE!

The thing is .............. lets see how should I put this?

hmmmmmmmmm....all I can say is the colored skin people got left out? not, just my color....but, the colored ones...all felt kind of like....hmmmm... "Why are we here, again?"

This is not my assumption. I did get to talk to a few of them who make it there and then, left...Ask them what they think? But, they were just too nice...They keep saying, it's ok but could have been better. I got to, literally, make them..spill it out, how they actually felt. LOL!!

Sigh!!

Let's see....me and my big opinion and big mouth....

If it were up to me, I would actually,

1. Make sure all the MENTORS are there to greet their fellow MENTEES. It's a good time to actually say hello if the email that you [mentor] have send out got lost in cyber space.

2. I know it might actually sound childish but, get both your mentors and mentees to play some introduction games. This allows both mentors and mentees to work together as a team and also, force people to learn name and faces. Make people feel relax.

3. No.2 will actually give everyone a chance to mingle and talk.

4. On the first meeting, get everyone to discuss what's their expectation of the programme. What they want out of it. It's really pointless to just tell your mentor and they forget about it...

5. Q & A sessions would be good, too...

6. And, when all the above it's done...then, we have the hot cocoa session....

You can't just hold a tea session, and expect people to just talk. Not everyone is sociable. Not everyone knows how to make the first move. It's awkward at times. And, as an international student programme, aren't you suppose to understand that students are people who comes from all walks of life and all kind of background. Not, everyone have the same kind of exposure.

Not everyone can JUST TALK...


However, I still believe in 2nd Chance. So, hopefully, it will be better the next round.


----
Just my 2 cents..... =)

My 3rd Weeks in University of Otago

Wow, have it been 3 weeks only? I felt forever..... LOL...

Well, it's not that I am not excited or happy or anything. I guess I came a week or 2, too early. I was afraid I couldn't find a place of my own. And, anyway the accommodation advisor adviced me to come in at 14 days in advance.

I guess I was just lucky. Found my own place. A nice unit with my own room and ensuite bathroom. Believe me, I am paying lesser for a private bathroom compared to the residential halls. Still, the disadvantages of staying slightly further [its only a 15 mins fast walk or a 20 mins breeze walk] and not in the residential hall, you tend to feel left out. Staying at the residential halls have its own perks like lots of friends around. Lots of activities to make you feel welcome. Which I am missing out.

But, it really also depends on your luck, in what kind of flatmates are you getting. I have one friend who stay with mostly mature students, are enjoying every moment of it. People are respectful and household errants are done together. There is laughter and lots of conversation to share with.

However, another friend got almost the opposite. So....there.....you can't have it all, right.....

So, I guess I am not regretting for staying out.

=)

So, check out the room:

Room in Dunedin

How You Become Someone!

Does the above title sound weird to you? Or does it sound attracting? Well, this is not a motivational blog. And, if you are looking for one. You have came to the wrong place.

But, do you still want to become someone? Well, that’s easy. Below are the TOP 3 Easiest Steps of how you can be someone.

*The below are learnt and observed through personal experiences* Do Read the Disclaimers!

Step 01: MARRY A RICH MAN/WOMAN

Trust me! Once you are married to a rich fellow, all your friends would starts to swarm at you. And, news travel fast, real fast.

The Gossip Scenario: “Oh, you know….this “A” is now married to this RICH “B”. Waaaaa…..The RICH “B” owns this ….these….and that…Lucky “A”. We should keep in touch….maybe “A” can introduce someone…… =) LOL!

Step 02: GO OVERSEA – Somewhere exotic or interesting

And, I tell you….friends who have NOT BEEN in touch for years….i mean literally YEARSSSSSSS…..will start emailing you, contacting you. Asking how you are? Want to know what you are up to? And, whether they can crash at your place when they drop by. And, would try all means to try to connect to you as if, you have been best friends since forever.

The Phone Call/Messenger/Email Scenario: “Hai, “A”. How are you lately? Heard you went to “location”? How is it? Waaaa…So nice…..

[After a good few emails/a 20 mins msn chat/a 20mins chat] Eh, you know…I’m actually flying in to “location”. Maybe, I can crash at your place?

Duuuhhh!

Step 03: YOU BECOME SOMEONE RICH AND FAMOUS

Would I say this is the classic case of how flies are attracted to food [whatever that is food to the fly] scenario?

=)

Cheers.. Happy Reading!

First week in Dunedin

 

It only had been almost a week since I’m here but it’s already seems like a month. Probably, I haven't started out course yet and a tad too free. Although, the course approval thingy is getting on my nerves. The good news, there is lots of flexibility in the course. You can basically, take up anything you like as long as you fulfil the major and you got the money. Bad news is, it’s confusing for a first year on how everything works. And, how to play with the points and time. Or, probably it’s just me. I don’t know. Sigh!

 

I am actually missing home. I miss the food. I miss the leisure of time that I have when I had it. And, the conveniences of a car. But, I am getting fitter. LOL! I misses my friends. I misses things that I could do back home. Misses my mum and her nagging. And, I misses Alven too. I’m just so not use to not having him around. Sigh! How I wish he could come over soon.

 

Lately, I have to keep reminding myself, why am I doing this. I mean I love being in a new place. Learning new things. Going back to school. And, actually going to an University which are just that this. I have always dreamt of an Uni. life just like this one. And, It’s actually happening.I am grateful….. I am not saying I’m regretting it. But, I guess the loneliness is getting to me. I do meet new friends but, things are just different. 

 

Sigh..

 

I don’t even know why am I writing this. I guess I needed a place to let out my feelings. I guess everything is just still very new. I’ll get used to it. I know I will.

Dunedin, New Zealand

Wow! I am finally here. Can you believe it? I know I can’t. I still don’t believe I am here already. It’s just way to unbelievable. After months of planning, I am finally here. Fuuuuuh!

 

Just settled into Kiwi’s Nest. It’s a nice little guesthouse. Quite a number of rooms. A bit rundown. But, no complaint from me so far.

 

I arrived late at around 9pm just now. Was supposed to arrive at around 8 plus but, flight got delayed like twice. By the way, I am so sick of airplanes now. Too long hours in such a cramp economy seats. It’s no fun at all and my butts hurts! Too numb to feel anything now.

 

By the way, the shuttle that I booked never came. So, got on another company. Nice driver and pretty funny too. And, because I arrived later, the guesthouse might be close already. I mean the management person. As they mentioned, they won’t be anyone here after 10.30pm and guess what, I arrived 2-3 minutes before that. How scary? First day! New Places! Don’t have any idea how outside look like now and imagine if I don’t have a place to stay. Oh, it’s really quiet around here. Hardly any souls on the street and it’s 10 degree tonight.

 

But, everything goes well.  Except for no internet excess and I have to rush using the phone to talk to Alven and mum coz it’s damn expensive. Well, what to do!

 

It’s my choice, so I got to live with it.

 

I haven’t eaten until now. Only had a meal today. Ya…just one which is the breakfast on the plane. I am hungry but what to do. I don’t want to go out now. Coz, it’s dark, too quiet and I’m in a strange new place. Got to just bear with the hunger for the night.

 

Oh, it don’t really get that dark around here. Even at 9pm just now, it’s like 7pm only in KL. It only really starts to get dark around 10pm…

 

I am damn fu#@$%g cold right now.

 

Sigh!

I’m depressed in BKK!

Wow! Can’t believe I am actually in Bangkok now. Waiting for my transit flight to Auckland. It’s 5:35PM now, Malaysian time and Bangkok time 1 hour earlier.

I’m all alone. My heart still hurts.

Only, Alven, Alven’s mum, Bakut and Ai Ling sent me off. But, I’m not disappointed. I know most friends have to work and it’s understandable that they can’t make it. And, probably it’s even better that they didn’t sent me off coz I seriously cried my eyes out. And, I don’t like seeing people I care, sad.

I’m really sad that I have decided to do this. I guess if Alven would have followed that it wouldn’t be too bad but now I am going all alone. A lot of people questioned my decision, even I did at times. But, I guess it’s for the best.

I have never exactly see airports as some place sad but,I do today. It’s a whole new thing to me. I used to always think airport to be one of the most wonderful and exciting place in the world. Coz, you get to fly here and there. See all kind of people and experience. But, this time, being at the airport is really sad.

I never thought I’ll be that sad and reluctant to leave. Friends called to wish me well. And, mum sent the most touching and sad messages. Sigh!! Why does it got to be like this?

Sitting here now, typing this I am actually depressed. I feel like crying already. I think I am already home sick!

=(

 

2 more hours before my flight. How am I going to survive this?

Are YOU Living the Good Life?

New Life in a New Place

It's not an easy decision to decide to leave Malaysia. Moving to a whole new place all by myself to start a new life there.

Notice that I never use the phrase "starting all over"? Because I don't consider myself starting all over again. I had my life in KL. And, now it's time to move on. To somewhere that would probably push me closer to my dreams.

It has always been an adventure.

I know it is not going to be easy but, at least I know I am going to do this and see how things work out for me. Instead of just saying, " I wish".

Now top of my list : To get situated, redecorate my room, getting a new job, getting used to school, making new friends, and last but not least, coping with loneliness and homesickness. Sigh!!!

I am crossing my fingers and hope that the whole transition would go smoothly.

------

Would people still remember who I am after I left?

-----

I feel numb!

Can't believe in an other 10 days, I'm leaving for New Zealand already. I'm not excited nor am I sad about it. I sort of have no feelings about it. I don't know why.

Sigh! Don't know what's getting to me...