Where am I when I need me the most?

It's definitely not a good time for me now..
So many things had been going on and I can't even cope with it, myself.
I don't even know where to start. At times, I feel things that I thought I always knew seems to just disappeared all together. I didn't know where to go on now and how to go on. I am all confuse of what I want all together and not knowing what would be the right to do anymore.

What am I doing? Where am I? How should I carry on?

I want yet I fear.
I wish but I fear I can't.

Should I?
Yet, I still feel insecure.
But, what if?

Sigh!

Someday, perhaps...
Is it here already?
Could I?

Seize the moment? And, not regret it one day, perhaps.
But, I'll never know.

What if?
Should I?
Could I?
Is it right?

I no longer knew.....

Where am I when I need me the most?