2 more days to the last exam

Actually, I have less than a day left for my last paper. But, I'm just so not prepared for it. Am already so in the holiday mood. Sigh!

I need help. I am bad. I know I should be studying. I did try to. But, my brain just would not want to cooperate with me. I lose my concentration like every 15 minutes of my readings. I think I have basically used up all my concentration and attention towards my psychology and I have none left for television studies. Sigh! I really don't know why I took up this paper. It's just so boring.

--

Anyway, most of the friends that I have made here in Otago are basically students in exchange and they are mostly here one semester and they are leaving soon. And, because of the timing of our exam, I could hardly see them. Sigh! I wish there are some other way. But, I guess, friendship comes and goes and it doesn't matter where they are. But, if we have the intention to remain as friends, we would find the way to keep in touch and probably, see each another again in the future.

Sigh! I can't even concentrate in writing this blog. My mind is everywhere. I hope I'll be able to blog better and blog more often once I'm on my holiday. No more excuses.

Finger Crossed!

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Me, Myself and I

It's June already. Am going to experience my first winter ever. Sadly, I don't know why I no longer look forward towards it. I don't know why. Everything has change for me that I am in the process of not knowing how to go forward with it.

I knew exactly before what I wanted to do but, now it's all confusion all over again. Like as if I'm back when I'm 18. But, somehow, something is different from when I was 18. I have some kind of understanding and awareness of life, I guess..I should put it that way.

I notice I haven't been actively blogging recently.Firstly, was because I am genuinely busy with Uni. stuffs. Totally the opposite of what I expected. I really thought I'll be more relaxed compared to working life. But, I guess going back to do your studies when you are slightly mature, there is an advantage is that you no longer take things lightly. And, you obviously have a clearer mind of what you want and expecting. But, the disadvantage is I no longer know how to relax and just let go. I kind of admire the energy some of the young -right after high-school,uni. students; partying all night long and still be able to get to the uni. Or just skipped it as if it's no body's business. Come on...I was there once....Totally, care free and care less what would happened to my life. I just wanna have fun. Well, sadly...now...I have to admit.....I'm getting old. Age is catching up fast. Should I be worried?

Secondly, again...Uni. stuffs. I was struggling with assignments, lab reports, exams and catching up with course readings. Yup, I have not read so much "textbook" or "course readings" in my whole life than I have now. Good? Maybe! I am also struggling with my assignments and lab reports. Well, the expectation here is so much higher. It's not like back home. I would easily be the top few students scoring in my assignments but, here.... OUCH! and, exam?? Should I still be talking about it? Sigh! Sadly...I think the age factor is a big thing; remembering notes for exam now do require needs more of my concentration and energy than before.

Thirdly, am busy catching up with New Zealand and friends. Come on, I am in such beautiful place, you can't expect me to just stay indoor whenever there is some free time. Am trying to make full use of the time I have here. Trying not to just fall into the uni. obligation thingy only and forget to breath. I still need times for new friends here, taking everything in that New Zealand have to offer and whatever is left - some time for myself.

And, those have basically take up all my time, not counting the hours spend in normal everyday routine like sleeping, bathing, eating...and etc.

I need more time.Time is catching up with me real fast. Everything is happening real fast that I have no idea where to steal some. Anyone would consider giving me some of their precious time?
I know...silly question! =P

I know being busy is not the only thing keeping me occupied but, everything is a whole new start for me. My thinking and the life I thought I knew have all changed too.

For example; me doing psychology? Ya, I would never have thought doing it last year. Don't get me wrong. I have always been interested in the psychology since after high school but, never got the blessing of my parents to do it. So, I guess I have learnt to just forget it until now. I realised this might be the only chance I have or might have to fulfill that dream of mine and basically, why not? I got nothing to lose actually. So, I took the Psychology major and, was initially, majoring in Communication Studies as well, because that's where I left off after I have gotten my diploma previously. But, sociology totally hit me as a better choice. So, here I am now majoring in both psychology and sociology. I know...some people thinks it's a weird combo. Well, I guess I am weird in a way too. hahahhahahah!

Well, exam is coming up real soon. On the 16th and the 23th. But, cross my fingers, I will still try and must find some times to blog.

The Day I fell in Love!

In Love with a Hedgehog.

I first seen the hedgehog in New Zealand. He totally have a personality of its own. Totally different from anything I have seen. Somehow, something about the hedgehog totally attracts me.

The second time, I remembered hearing a snuffling sound in the bush when I was in Te Anua. Under the bright moonlight, I saw it toddled around at the nearby bushes. Minding his own business and was totally unaware of me being so near to it.

I have no idea what, but, something about the little creature is just so intriguing. Making me wanting to know more about what's its all about. The more I get to know it, the more I see it, the more I fell in love. I know it's weird. Somehow, I have gone to have built an interesting personal relationship with it. I wanted to know more about the hedgehog. Somehow, I feel I could relates to it.

Hedgehogs have existed for about 15 million years already. Changing just a little. And, under potential harm, the hedgehogs protect themselves by rolling up into a ball and their quills simply create an impenetrable barrier. Most of the time, they are much more likely to just run away if in danger. An insectivore. It has poor eyesight, but their sense of smell and hearing is really good. It makes little snort sound and totally active only at night.

There is this phrase of "hedgehog's dilemma". And, if you refer to wiki or the urban dictionary, it means:

(1) The closer two beings come to one another in a relationship, the more likely it might be for them to inflict psychological pain on each other

(2) Yet if they remain apart, they each might feel the roughly-equivalent (psychological) pain of loneliness.

Making it even more interesting, isn't it?

I still haven't got a chance to take a photo of the little creature. But, don't think I will have a chance until after winter. The hedgehog would go into hibernation already.

Can't wait to see the little creature again, hopefully in Spring..

--

-My Little Hedgehog-

Blogging thru Email

Am testing out this feature .... blogging thru email...seems pretty cool if it works....!

=)

--
Nora Alyssa

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

"Experience is What you Get when You don't get what you Wanted" - Prof. Randy Paush

Where am I when I need me the most?

It's definitely not a good time for me now..
So many things had been going on and I can't even cope with it, myself.
I don't even know where to start. At times, I feel things that I thought I always knew seems to just disappeared all together. I didn't know where to go on now and how to go on. I am all confuse of what I want all together and not knowing what would be the right to do anymore.

What am I doing? Where am I? How should I carry on?

I want yet I fear.
I wish but I fear I can't.

Should I?
Yet, I still feel insecure.
But, what if?

Sigh!

Someday, perhaps...
Is it here already?
Could I?

Seize the moment? And, not regret it one day, perhaps.
But, I'll never know.

What if?
Should I?
Could I?
Is it right?

I no longer knew.....

Where am I when I need me the most?

What is Love?

Is love the feeling of insecurity?
Is love the feeling of excitement?
Is love the feeling to appreciation?
Is love the feeling of worried of losing the other half?
Is love measurable?
Is love painful?
Is love desirable?
Is love long lasting?
Is love short live?
Is love pleasure?
Is love, lust?
Is love passionate?
Is love the feeling of aching for someone?
Is love strong?
Is love always there?
Is love about living?
Is love appears in multiple form?
Is love greed?
Is love selfish?
Is love hurtful?
Is love kind?
Is love when you know it's love?
Is love a desire?
Is love intimate?
Is love always there?

What is love?

Times passes too quickly for me!

So much to do.....so little time......
I need to take a breath.

---
I seriously have not enough time at all or literally no time at all. The time is just passing through me real fast. And, at times, I have no idea where my time had gone to? Did someone stole it from me? Hmmmmmmm!

It was just yester-months that I was preparing to come to New Zealand. Start a new life. Get to know new people. And, I got here and it started slow. Too slow til I was complaining. And, now....it's happening too fast. Everything's happening at the same time. I sometimes, felt that I can't cope with it anymore.

Me, family, personal issues, Uni, Assignments, Exam, Labs, Outing, the weather, theatre, friends, things I want to do, errants, groceries, plans, internet, emails, mails and lots lots more....how am I gonna cope with all these?

I'm probably going nuts already by now. Sigh!

---

Now...take a deep breath!

I got to take a deep breath!

I have to...

---

To get all there is out of living, we must employ our time wisely, never being
in too much of a hurry to stop and sip life, but never losing our sense of the
enormous value of a minute. -Robert Updegraff